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Please revise this paper. It needs to be fixed and cleaned up a lot!
The classroom was unremarkable. I remember the smell of freshly sharpened pencils
and new paper the desk were the originals from were that little rural school was build
around 1970. The green chalkboard was carefully decorated with at the top with colorful
flowers butterflies and letters .The doors remain open during class and you could feel a
light breeze coming through .There was a big pine tree in front of the classroom. The
sound of that breeze flowing through the pine needles was relaxing and comforting. I
close my eyes and can still hear that sound very peaceful. The teachers desk decorated
with wild flowers that students will bring using a old beverage glass bottle as a vase. Mrs
Velazquez . Her hair was always neatly comb into a side ponytail the detail that I
remember about Mrs Velazquez our Spanish teacher. She took our writing and reading
skills very seriously she instilled in us her love for the literature the importance of
having good writing and reading skills she was a devoted teacher and wanted the best for
her students she wanted her students to be succesfull.
Being in the class of Mrs.
Velazquez was one of the most important moments of my literacy skills because I learned
more about reading and writing (Supporting point 1) supporting point2 and supporting
point3.
(Discussion of the supporting point should be in the first body paragraph). Our class
was after lunch break. I sat in the front row eager to learn and made her proud. We read
out loud we were taught to re read our writings there was no room for grammar errors
with her. It was supposed to be perfect. We were assign to learn the prepositions for the
next day and as a young child and doing what kids would do I went home after school
and set my backpack in a corner chair until the next morning As I walk into the
classroom the next day and open my note book I realized the missing assignment and
went into a panic mode .I did not wanted to disappoint my favorite teacher. Luckily my
turn to step up to the front of the classroom and recite the prepositions was towards the
end This gave me enough time to memorized them . Good job she said you did very
well. I felt a big relieve but still my worries were spinning around my head. What if I
wouldnt learned them I would of fail. I did not wanted to look unprepared and
unknowledgeable in front of the classroom and in front of my teacher. Oh what a relief.
From that experience I learned to be more responsible and to keep feeding my love for
the literacy.We read our books and learn to write a short review of the stories always
emphasizing the importance of writing correctly .She knew this was going to be a
lifetime benefit for her students. Then by third grade we learn the cursive method .She
would analyze it very meticulously and was able to observe if we had lift our pencils
before finishing the word we were expected to write a word without lifting the pencil and
making extra attachment in between letters. The learning experience with her I never
forget. She was our teacher from second grade to six grade until we graduated from that
little school .
(Discussion of the second supporting point should be in the second body paragraph)As
I went into the big city for middle school I was in a mixed of emotions stage I was afraid
of all the people there. There was near four hundred students VS ninety students at the
previous school. One thing I knew for sure. I was prepared . Always hear stories from the
bigger kids talking about how you have to read so many books and all this endless pages
of writing for sure I was prepare and proud of it. I always took pride of my writing skills
and this is one of the most important moments in my literacy development because of my
career as a nurse we have to do a lot of documentation and although English was not the
language that I was though into I still consider my writing skills to be as good as I could
do in my language and I take pride on it. As I was taught by her I re read my writings and
my nursing notes before they are submitted .In conclusion I truly believe that literacy
should be given more importance than what is really given now days . I have school age
children now and I can see how the perfection of the grammar is not emphasize enough
as an important part of the class learning curriculum .
(Discussion of the third supporting point should be in the third body paragraph)
Conclusion paragraph should restate thesis and summarize the main points