February 17th, 2021 
This is my paper that I want to revise and change. Like I want this paper to be more on about indulge in a movie sense element. Like I want the lines to be short not a lot of lines from characters. Because basically It just give dialogue. I want you to read the story and figure out what needs to be change. My instructor want it to be more dynamite and very understandable for the audience to read. Make this a movie. Also the character Laura seems to be a little bit of an issue. Mostly, she is giving to more dialogue in her lines. Some certain lines shouldn’t be said out, it should be in action. Remember, this is a story about two friends surviving to get out of a dark place. None of them should not know how to get out. Please be more affirmative in writing this paper. Give it your best shot. It’s alot of changes, make sure you follow the instructions carefully. Read this file down below and give your in take on what should change. Please like I said, don’t give a whole dialogue in between lines, just make it plain simple not to long for the audience to get bored. If you have any other questions let me know!!! Good luck!
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